Day Ninety Six - REST DAY
Yes, took another rest day, just to ease my body. I don't want this thing getting any worse.
Well, some good news, my stomach hasn't been acting up at all today. Haven't felt it once today! That is really relieving to me. I've been so stressed about it all weekend.
One thing about me is that I'm a very paranoid person. That's one big problem I was working on during my first year of Fyrescape. That's always been a problem for me.
Today I had a really bad problem. We went to Sams Club this morning and I went to customer service to check on my card. Last time I tried to get gas over there, it said my card was invalid. So I took it to customer service and they checked it. Everything was good, but they gave me a different card anyway. They took my picture :O Yeah oh no, I'm a really crappy picture taker. All my pix look like hell. But, I think that's only because I was so overweight at one point, but didn't realize it. So I think those pictures looked just like me at that time, but I didn't believe it because I never even knew I was overweight because no one told me and I couldn't see it in the mirror. Anyway, that picture came out and I hated it. Lisa said it looked fine, but the one thing wrong with it is that I was stretched out in the picture. My head looked really long, like a "conehead" Lisa called it. Remember that old movie with Dan Akroyd, Coneheads. Anyway, that's what I looked like. She said the picture looks really distorted, like my image looks really long and stretched out. I didn't see that right off. M mind just went crazy and I thought I was ugly, genuinely ugly. Totally not attractive! I wanted to just give up on everything, like what's the point kinda attitude. It's frustrating, especially for Lisa, to see me go thru that. My parents made me that way growing up and I just got worse with age. I'm talking the paranoid, crazy thing. Anyway, so that's how I was feeling. Lisa tried her hardest to get me out. Then we got hit with another bombshell. Lisa's mom forgot about her promise to pay Lisa's first payment for her college class coming up at the end of this month. So, now we had that to deal with so after getting a few groceries, we were going to use the remaining money and pay for her school tomorrow, which would end up cutting into our San Diego trip money. So Lisa was feeling really bad and stressed about that. Thank God that while I was driving home, thoughts entered my head to really look at that picture (Sams Club picture) so when we got home, I did. I finally saw what Lisa was saying. It does look like me, but she's right, the picture is really distorted. My head is really long and you can tell because my glasses. Well, it's obvious when you see it, but given my crazy paranoid mind, you have to break it down in pieces for me to accept it. But my glasses are wide in the picture. My glasses are not wide, they're thin. That webcam shot really made my head look long and gross looking, but I will say this...OMG I lost a CRAPLOAD of weight! If you compare it to my drivers license picture...oh man it is a HUGE difference!!! My face and my body have changed in so many ways, it's insane! So now, I'm very happy! I look fine, there's nothing wrong and my picture looks ok. Crappy picture, but it's all good. It actually helped me get over so much crap that I've been fighting with all my life. Now I'm able to take full selfies with my camera lol. I wasn't able to do that before. It's really cool. So I was playing around with Snapchat today and it was cool. That's my crazy experience.
So tomorrow, we need to head up to the bank and I need to pay Lisa's school. That's a given. Her aunt called her and told her she would loan her the money to pay for it, but that Lisa needed to pay her back, which was crap. Lisa's mom was actually supposed to pay for it because it was her birthday present to Lisa. So, Lisa put all her faith in her mom, that her mom was gonna pay it, and here she ended up forgetting. So Lees is very hurt and feeling bad, but as always, I fixed her problems so now she's all good and happy at work. The things I do for my best friend ;)
Well, some good news, my stomach hasn't been acting up at all today. Haven't felt it once today! That is really relieving to me. I've been so stressed about it all weekend.
One thing about me is that I'm a very paranoid person. That's one big problem I was working on during my first year of Fyrescape. That's always been a problem for me.
Today I had a really bad problem. We went to Sams Club this morning and I went to customer service to check on my card. Last time I tried to get gas over there, it said my card was invalid. So I took it to customer service and they checked it. Everything was good, but they gave me a different card anyway. They took my picture :O Yeah oh no, I'm a really crappy picture taker. All my pix look like hell. But, I think that's only because I was so overweight at one point, but didn't realize it. So I think those pictures looked just like me at that time, but I didn't believe it because I never even knew I was overweight because no one told me and I couldn't see it in the mirror. Anyway, that picture came out and I hated it. Lisa said it looked fine, but the one thing wrong with it is that I was stretched out in the picture. My head looked really long, like a "conehead" Lisa called it. Remember that old movie with Dan Akroyd, Coneheads. Anyway, that's what I looked like. She said the picture looks really distorted, like my image looks really long and stretched out. I didn't see that right off. M mind just went crazy and I thought I was ugly, genuinely ugly. Totally not attractive! I wanted to just give up on everything, like what's the point kinda attitude. It's frustrating, especially for Lisa, to see me go thru that. My parents made me that way growing up and I just got worse with age. I'm talking the paranoid, crazy thing. Anyway, so that's how I was feeling. Lisa tried her hardest to get me out. Then we got hit with another bombshell. Lisa's mom forgot about her promise to pay Lisa's first payment for her college class coming up at the end of this month. So, now we had that to deal with so after getting a few groceries, we were going to use the remaining money and pay for her school tomorrow, which would end up cutting into our San Diego trip money. So Lisa was feeling really bad and stressed about that. Thank God that while I was driving home, thoughts entered my head to really look at that picture (Sams Club picture) so when we got home, I did. I finally saw what Lisa was saying. It does look like me, but she's right, the picture is really distorted. My head is really long and you can tell because my glasses. Well, it's obvious when you see it, but given my crazy paranoid mind, you have to break it down in pieces for me to accept it. But my glasses are wide in the picture. My glasses are not wide, they're thin. That webcam shot really made my head look long and gross looking, but I will say this...OMG I lost a CRAPLOAD of weight! If you compare it to my drivers license picture...oh man it is a HUGE difference!!! My face and my body have changed in so many ways, it's insane! So now, I'm very happy! I look fine, there's nothing wrong and my picture looks ok. Crappy picture, but it's all good. It actually helped me get over so much crap that I've been fighting with all my life. Now I'm able to take full selfies with my camera lol. I wasn't able to do that before. It's really cool. So I was playing around with Snapchat today and it was cool. That's my crazy experience.
So tomorrow, we need to head up to the bank and I need to pay Lisa's school. That's a given. Her aunt called her and told her she would loan her the money to pay for it, but that Lisa needed to pay her back, which was crap. Lisa's mom was actually supposed to pay for it because it was her birthday present to Lisa. So, Lisa put all her faith in her mom, that her mom was gonna pay it, and here she ended up forgetting. So Lees is very hurt and feeling bad, but as always, I fixed her problems so now she's all good and happy at work. The things I do for my best friend ;)
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