Day Two Hundred Thirty Three
Did 3 miles this morning again!
Feels great. My feet don't hurt. I mean, I'll feel it but it's not painful like when I first started walking after recovery. They hurt so bad after I sat down a while. That was crazy! So now, I feel great and things are much better. Also my right knee hasn't been feeling crappy in a while now. I feel great! I want to start using the Bowflex and getting back to DDP yoga so bad, but I am so afraid. You know, my recovery took longer than expected. I have said this whole time that my recovery ended the last day in October. Well that was not true! Ya that's when the doctor told me that my recovery was over, but that's not when I was feeling better because to this day, I still feel a really weird and sensitive feeling right where my incision was. I mean, it sometimes hurts, like if I lay on my stomach for a while, then roll over to get up. I really feel it and it doesn't feel good. Simetimes it scares me, like I feel like the hernia came back so I always have to reassure myself by putting my finger in my belly button to make sure I don't feel that lump anymore. It's crazy! Everything is normal though. I do remember when I got the hernia, back in April of 2014. I remember when I think it happened, my stomach felt really sore. Like I had just done a thousand situps. It was aching and sore. So sore that it was really hard to stand up and sit down. That was really bizzare because I hadn't done anything. It happened while my dad was getting heart surgery in Albuquerque. We all went out there and while I was there on that first day, that's when I felt it. There was no actual pain, just intense soreness and I didn't know why. Anyway, when I got home from Albuquerque, that very next day is when I felt that lump in my belly button and then Fyrescape started the following day. Changed my world!
Anyway, the point is I'm very scared to get back to yoga and the bowflex. Sometimes just lifting heavy things makes me scared. I really need to get over that because my body needs that exercise. I'm just so dang scared that it's going to tear again ugh! I think it's just that stuff they put inside me to patch up that tear where my abdominal wall was. I feel that stuff in there and it makes it feel...weird. So I just end up attributing that to 'pain'. Anyway, I'm really going to try and push myself to getting back to doing what I used to. I never thought it was going to be this tough after surgery. I feel the same as I did before surgery, meaning strong and willing/able to do anything, but my mental state is that I'm scared now. Feel like I have limits :( Before none, now tons..basically.
Well no practice tonight. I called it off because everyone worked hard all week. Plus, today is my little cousin's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUBREY!!! I'm so proud of her. She's always willing to help out in my holiday events. She rode in the float earlier this month, which was cool. So instead, today I got to rest up. I was busy anyway because after taking Lisa to work my dad brought my car over here and turns out HE FIXED IT UP FOR ME WOOOHOOO!!!!! My car needed a new transmission pan and o2 sensor along with a gasket for the pan. Well dad told me today that he bought all that stuff for me and put it on. Oh man, I was so scared because of how that thing ignited in a fire the other day but turns out, he had put too much oil in there. I already gave that thing an oil change so when he told me the other day that it didn't have oil, I told him there must be a really bad oil leak in there because I put in 5 quarts, yet he ended up putting more oil in there and coolant. Then the dang thing catches fire on him while he was test driving. Well turns out, he put too much oil in there and it just ended up spilling over and got all over the bottom. When the engine heated up, that's when it caught fire. The good thing though, it that fire must've burned all that oil off. Now, it no longer smokes like it did before. I was very happy about that! Still, I'm weary. I want to wash that thing really good. He's going to put in my thermostat. I'm so happy he did that for me. Must be an early Christmas present ;)
So I talked with him, then grandpa came over and loaned me 20 bucks. I'm going to pay him back tomorrow but I wanted the money to go get tickets to Star Wars: The Force Awakens. It opens tonight! I wanted to get tickets but when I asked my mom this morning, she invited Lisa and I to watch it with them this Saturday at 8am. Their company bought out the theater and are allowing their employees and families to watch it. I'm so happy about that! I told Lisa and she was screaming in excitement. She's been wanting to see it forever now. So Saturday morning, we're going to be watching Star Wars. Very excited about that ;)
Anyway, I went to the casino and I did pretty good. With the little money I won, I picked up Lisa from work then we went to the store and got some food. Now, I'm going to relax. Tomorrow we got another big day plus I am having my last practice for the Christmas Program tomorrow evening. We're going to voice record all the kids so they can just focus on their puppet acting on Sunday. I think that'll be really good. Well, time to relax now and have something to eat.
Feels great. My feet don't hurt. I mean, I'll feel it but it's not painful like when I first started walking after recovery. They hurt so bad after I sat down a while. That was crazy! So now, I feel great and things are much better. Also my right knee hasn't been feeling crappy in a while now. I feel great! I want to start using the Bowflex and getting back to DDP yoga so bad, but I am so afraid. You know, my recovery took longer than expected. I have said this whole time that my recovery ended the last day in October. Well that was not true! Ya that's when the doctor told me that my recovery was over, but that's not when I was feeling better because to this day, I still feel a really weird and sensitive feeling right where my incision was. I mean, it sometimes hurts, like if I lay on my stomach for a while, then roll over to get up. I really feel it and it doesn't feel good. Simetimes it scares me, like I feel like the hernia came back so I always have to reassure myself by putting my finger in my belly button to make sure I don't feel that lump anymore. It's crazy! Everything is normal though. I do remember when I got the hernia, back in April of 2014. I remember when I think it happened, my stomach felt really sore. Like I had just done a thousand situps. It was aching and sore. So sore that it was really hard to stand up and sit down. That was really bizzare because I hadn't done anything. It happened while my dad was getting heart surgery in Albuquerque. We all went out there and while I was there on that first day, that's when I felt it. There was no actual pain, just intense soreness and I didn't know why. Anyway, when I got home from Albuquerque, that very next day is when I felt that lump in my belly button and then Fyrescape started the following day. Changed my world!
Anyway, the point is I'm very scared to get back to yoga and the bowflex. Sometimes just lifting heavy things makes me scared. I really need to get over that because my body needs that exercise. I'm just so dang scared that it's going to tear again ugh! I think it's just that stuff they put inside me to patch up that tear where my abdominal wall was. I feel that stuff in there and it makes it feel...weird. So I just end up attributing that to 'pain'. Anyway, I'm really going to try and push myself to getting back to doing what I used to. I never thought it was going to be this tough after surgery. I feel the same as I did before surgery, meaning strong and willing/able to do anything, but my mental state is that I'm scared now. Feel like I have limits :( Before none, now tons..basically.
Well no practice tonight. I called it off because everyone worked hard all week. Plus, today is my little cousin's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUBREY!!! I'm so proud of her. She's always willing to help out in my holiday events. She rode in the float earlier this month, which was cool. So instead, today I got to rest up. I was busy anyway because after taking Lisa to work my dad brought my car over here and turns out HE FIXED IT UP FOR ME WOOOHOOO!!!!! My car needed a new transmission pan and o2 sensor along with a gasket for the pan. Well dad told me today that he bought all that stuff for me and put it on. Oh man, I was so scared because of how that thing ignited in a fire the other day but turns out, he had put too much oil in there. I already gave that thing an oil change so when he told me the other day that it didn't have oil, I told him there must be a really bad oil leak in there because I put in 5 quarts, yet he ended up putting more oil in there and coolant. Then the dang thing catches fire on him while he was test driving. Well turns out, he put too much oil in there and it just ended up spilling over and got all over the bottom. When the engine heated up, that's when it caught fire. The good thing though, it that fire must've burned all that oil off. Now, it no longer smokes like it did before. I was very happy about that! Still, I'm weary. I want to wash that thing really good. He's going to put in my thermostat. I'm so happy he did that for me. Must be an early Christmas present ;)
So I talked with him, then grandpa came over and loaned me 20 bucks. I'm going to pay him back tomorrow but I wanted the money to go get tickets to Star Wars: The Force Awakens. It opens tonight! I wanted to get tickets but when I asked my mom this morning, she invited Lisa and I to watch it with them this Saturday at 8am. Their company bought out the theater and are allowing their employees and families to watch it. I'm so happy about that! I told Lisa and she was screaming in excitement. She's been wanting to see it forever now. So Saturday morning, we're going to be watching Star Wars. Very excited about that ;)
Anyway, I went to the casino and I did pretty good. With the little money I won, I picked up Lisa from work then we went to the store and got some food. Now, I'm going to relax. Tomorrow we got another big day plus I am having my last practice for the Christmas Program tomorrow evening. We're going to voice record all the kids so they can just focus on their puppet acting on Sunday. I think that'll be really good. Well, time to relax now and have something to eat.
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